Gratefulness Pt. 1

I live in a world where it is easy to constantly complain. Complaining brings negative energy into the soul, which can lead to toxicity. Instead, pour yourself a cup of positivity, not every once in a while, but all the time. You deserve it.

That is why for the last 8 months I have been writing down one good thing that I am grateful for that has happened each day.

I am going to start a series of posts where I reflect on where I was in that particular month and give insight into who I am. Also I am going to pick one day each month and deem it as the top thing I am grateful for in that particular month. So now I give you...

October 2014

1st- Beautiful sunset Can't go wrong with Mother Nature
2nd- Got an 89 on my first English paper and an 92 on my personal health test My first semester in college... I have so far to come
3rd- I'm returned home today This was the beginning of our Fall Break
4th- The play my mom and I went to was so so funny We were in this beautiful theater in DC, it was mother daughter bonding time I dreamed about
5th- WWAT (Where We Are Tour) ended, it's sad but the fandom came together, and that... THAT was incredibly beautiful One important thing to know about me is that I love One Direction
6th- I got my birth certificate and new clothes I needed the certificate to apply for my passport
7th- We made it back to school safely It was a five hour road trip
8th- I got a lot of compliments on my hair 
9th- I have an A for my biology midterm grade I strive for good grades (I guess that makes me a nerd)
10th- Good girl music video came out I also love a band called 5 Seconds of Summer
11th- I painted my nails I wonder if it is possible to become obsessed with nail care
12th- The packers won their game against the dolphins I have never stepped foot in Wisconsin but GO PACK GO!
13th- I came so so close to winning jingle ball tickets ozjaisnsua I live for radio contests. There's nothing like the thrill of dialing and dialing and then finally it starts to ring and you have no clue someone will answer or not
14th- It really felt like fall outside 
15th- LIAM PAYNE FOLLOWED ME This day will never be forgotten... After years of trying and battling millions of others I am one of the few (one of about 17,000 people out of 20 million) 
16th- I won an iTunes gift card As a girl who loves music, this was quite valuable
17th- I got a free planner Organization is important for a messy girl like myself
18th- Put a new poster on my wall I was (and still am) determined to make my temporary dorm feel like home
19th- I'm a published journalist I am apart of an organization at school that gives students the chance to post articles on an online journal and I made it! I kept beating myself up about it because I didn't believe in myself
20th- My history class got cancelled This class was my first one of the day so that meant I was able to sleep in (a college kid's dream)
21st- Got a 100% on my history quiz 
22nd- One week anniversary of my Liam follow I told you One Direction was important to me

23rd- All my classes were cancelled because of GHOE Add no class and the Greatest Homecoming on Earth and you get me doing a little jig (yes I used the word jig)
24th- Went to the step show with my mommy More bonding (:
25th- Got to spend the day with my family Since it was my first semester away I really valued being able to see my dad, mom, and little brother
26th- Found a church I like in Greensboro It's hard to go find a church where you feel comfortable being yourself because picking a church, or any religious sanctuary, is not an easy task
27th- My Calum tweet reached 500 RTS Calum is the bassist in the band 5 Seconds of Summer and I have a tweet directed at him that is dear to my heart and thankfully 500 people decided to help me try and get noticed by him
28th- Made my passport appointment Baby steps towards my study abroad trip!
29th- I'm alive What I am the most grateful for this month
30th- Ate pizza with friends Yum yum yum 
31st- I've got a phone interview for next week! Seeing as that I love bands, I love to attend concerts, but concerts cost a lot of money. Hence the job search.

Angelica

Sprinkled across the floor

bathed in dulcet silence

lips cracked like December

split ears only hear the

muffled cry of past dreams

palms shattered to powder

merging with ruined bits of eyelashes

creating pieces of shard skin

broken at every angle

no longer a cynosure,

but a barren being

brought to its knees by greed

So sleep pretty my dear

your sweet silky smooth hair

evaporated tonight

along with a life that will

be forgotten

Copyright 2014 Ciarra Crowe All Rights Reserved

Limitations

A couple months ago when I was deciding whether or not to study abroad I was faced an issue. I had a fear of flying, so when you're up against a 14 flight to Sydney, Australia, you question whether or not you will set forth on a new journey in life.

Fear is a state of mind. Now I refuse to let it hold me back, even though flying still scares the life out of me, I'll still push forward.

So I encourage you to do some thinking, what limitations have you mentally placed on yourself?

5 Things I Learned Freshman Year of College

1) Go out and enjoy the things available to you. There is free stuff everywhere. Join at least one organization, it's the easiest way to make friends besides talking to people in your classes. 

2) Try your best to not be afraid. I spent so much time not doing certain things because I was afraid of what others thought of me, so I wouldn't putting myself out there. However, being afraid for your safety is another thing though. If your gut is telling you not to do it. Don't do it. My friends would want to go to parties off campus in a sketchy part of town and I would decline their invitation every time because it didn't sit right with me.

3) Talk to professors, they're the ones who give you the grades. Most of them also have random, yet helpful, life experience. Don't just talk to professors, talk to new people, you never know what they know or who they know. Talk to everyone even the cafeteria workers (they'll give you extra food, it's great).

4) I shouldn't have to tell you this but in case you forgot: Be kind. Everyone is going through something in life, no matter how cliche the statement is.

5) Be bold. Start a club. Wear whatever you like. Take the good sort of risks.

My personal advice: don't fall for someone who lives in the same building as you because if things go bad your chances of seeing them drastically increases and avoiding them will be hell. Plus it'll be awkward when they bring a new lover up to his/her room and you awkwardly bump into them in the elevator (unless you swear off the elevator to avoid this very scenario). 

xoxo
Ciarra

My room the first week of college in August 2014

As you can see I had to make some decor changes by the end of the day

Glowstick

I believe we all glow and shine in some sort of capacity. Some of us are stars who shine all the time. Some of us are street lights who shine when things get hard and dark. Then there are those who are glow sticks. I am beginning to think that I am a glow stick and that it really isn't a bad thing.

So I ask you: in what capacity do you shine?

I can't wait to read your comments below!